Nothing about England makes sense, least of all how they are keeping up with Australia

Ben Gardner was at Lord’s to watch a wayward bowling performance, rescued out of nowhere by a Joe Root double-strike.

It didn’t matter whether Ben Stokes looked up or down after he won the toss at Lord’s. The clouds overhead and the grass on the wicket each pointed to the same sign, flashing bright in neon: ‘Bowl’.

He duly obliged, and then stood and watched as England delivered one of the worst collective bowling sessions of his captaincy. “We feel that with the way they’re playing at the moment, a pitch with a bit more movement would benefit us hugely,” was Ollie Robinson’s assessment after Edgbaston. At Lord’s, England found more movement in the first session than in any game since Brendon McCullum’s appointment, and yet went wicketless into the last over before lunch. T

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